The Healing Power of Pain

Imagine for a moment that our bodies did not experience physical pain. It is easy to think there would be no downsides. No more throbbing stubbed toes or paper cut stings. But what about more serious injuries? What if breaking our leg caused no pain? How would we even know it was broken? What would stop us from overworking it so it could heal? Although pain is uncomfortable to experience, it serves the purpose of alerting us to our physical needs.

The same is true of our emotional pain, yet for some reason we don’t give it the same attention. Our experiences, circumstances, and beliefs can hurt us, but we often distract ourselves from, downplay, or flat out ignore our emotional pain. Unfortunately, this has the same effect as ignoring physical pain: the wound festers and doesn’t heal properly.

Having unhealed emotional pain in our lives has consequences. It causes us to “limp” in certain ways, so we aren’t functioning at full capacity and we are susceptible to our emotions taking charge. Imagine the feeling of trying to hold a beach ball under water. You may succeed for a little bit, but as soon as something bumps you or your hand slips, the ball comes flying out of the water in whichever direction. In the same way, holding our emotions down, whether consciously or subconsciously, is exhausting and as soon as we lose focus, the emotions come bursting out in ways we can’t control. This is the mind’s way of reminding us that the pain is still there.

So we know that our negative emotions are there to help us. They indicate to us that there is unaddressed pain in our lives. That pain has a source and a solution, if we are willing to seek it out and address it. But, truth be told, it isn’t always easy to willingly pull off a band-aid and look at the wound underneath. Unfortunately, psychiatry has found clever ways to make ignoring that pain easier at times than addressing it. Here are two of them:

1. Labeling emotions with a diagnosis

Emotional pain has many manifestations, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. It is common in psychiatry to label our emotional pain with a diagnosis that implies a disease. Instead of “You are depressed,” we say, “You have depression.” What a difference that makes in how we address the pain! Receiving a diagnosis can admittedly provide a sense of relief, because it feels like you have the “answer.” However, that answer can leave very little room for healing and change. If emotional pain is the result of faulty genetics, the underlying issue would exist no matter what, so the much more common causes of emotional suffering (eg. broken relationships, trauma, negative beliefs about ourselves and others) go ignored. They continue to fester and the pain continues to be attributed to the lasting disease, not the addressable beliefs.

2. Psychiatric medication

If emotional pain is considered part of a disease process, then people look for a cure in the wrong places. This often looks like prescribing psychiatric medication, rather than self-exploration and therapy. There is a place for some psychiatric medications, but often, they numb the very pain that is there to point the way toward healing. For example, the name “anti-depressant” is misleading, because this class of medication cannot just target depression. It stifles emotions in general. The depression may not feel as intense, but neither will happiness, excitement, or relief. Unfortunately, when emotional pain is masked, it can no longer point the way toward healing, so the “condition” perpetuates.

The solution to all of this is giving emotional pain the respect it deserves. Sadly, psychiatric diagnosis and medication often rob individuals of the chance to follow their emotional pain to the source where healing can be found.

Here are a few ways to embrace your emotional pain in a healthy way:

1. Think of your emotional pain as a guide on a journey toward healing, rather than ignoring or resenting it.
2. Remember your innate resilience and capacity to change. Just like our bodies are equipped to heal physically, so too are they equipped to heal emotionally.
3. Find someone to help you follow the bread crumbs of your emotions to their real source, which is often painful past experiences that can be addressed and healed.

If you are ready to put on your hiking boots and go where your emotions are leading, we would love to help be a guide on that journey: contact us at 319-527-8018 or office@atlaspsychiatrycr.com.