My previous post covered some of the scientific theory behind where negative emotions come from. In this post, I’d like to explore a model of therapy that is very well-suited to healing negative emotions: Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS).
The History of IFS
Internal Family Systems therapy was developed by a family therapist named Richard Schwarz while he was working with females who had eating disorders. He noticed that each woman seemed to have parts within herself that interacted with each other, much like a family would. One part would feel the need to binge and purge, and another, in a desperate attempt to control the behavior, would react in disgust and shame. Which, in turn, would only make the behavior worse. He would see parallel scenarios play out between family members in family therapy sessions. For example, a father would crack down on a rebellious teenage son causing the son to rebel even more.
After making this connection, he began experimenting with applying methods he used in family therapy on individuals. Treating the behavior as an enemy seemed to make the symptoms worse. So instead, he began asking the “parts” of the client that reacted so strongly to the binging and purging to step aside. As they did, his clients began to see the part that binged and purged with compassion and curiosity. This led to another novel discovery: far from being an enemy, the part that initiated the behavior actually had purpose and functioned to protect the client in some way. It just needed redirected to a healthier function. His discoveries allowed his clients to explore their behavior much more effectively and ultimately find resolution.
Through these successes working with some of the most difficult psychiatric issues, Internal Family Systems therapy was born. It has since been accepted on to the National Registry for Evidence Based Programs and Practices by SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration) (Schwarz & Sweezy, 2020). It has also been endorsed by the world’s leading expert on trauma, Bessel Van Der Kolk, as one of the most effective forms of therapy used to resolve trauma, as well as anxiety, depression, OCD, and many other psychiatric issues.
A Basic Explanation of IFS
IFS can be best understood not only as a form of therapy, but as a very good explanation of how the mind works. IFS suggests that the human psyche is composed of parts. This does not mean that we all have multiple personality disorder, but it does mean that our minds have what IFS calls “normal psychic multiplicity” (Schwarz & Sweezy, 2020). Or, as Schwarz discovered, different parts of our minds respond to each other much like a family would. And, just like real families, we are all on a spectrum of functionality. However, we are all intended to operate as a unified whole: with peace, clarity, and a common purpose. There are various types of parts that make up this internal family.
The Parts
The Self
The most important part of the internal family is the self. Some call it the seat of consciousness, or the soul. Logic informs us of the existence of this self, because there must be something by which we can observe our mind and its processes. Just as a finger cannot touch itself, there must be a separation between the observer and the observed. A simple (yet seemingly silly, so bear with me) way to experience this separation from your mind and its emotions is to say, “I don’t feel angry, ‘the me’ feels angry.” Because you are not your anger, you can separate yourself from it. Separation is what gives us the distance we need from our overwhelming emotions to begin restoring balance to our inner world. This separation allows us to experience what IFS calls, self-energy.
Self is like the leader of a country that is supposed to be always in control, governing the rest of our parts to produce harmony in our inner world. However, because of negative emotional experiences or trauma, our selves can be sidelined with other parts stepping in to take control. For comparison, when a country is under attack, the military steps up to protect the leadership and the people. Once the situation is known, ideally the military will step aside and allow the leadership to continue to govern, however with weak leadership, the military will likely remain in control (Schwarz & Sweezy, 2020). Attacks on our minds can sometimes lead to protectors taking charge (instead of the self) to protect what is most vulnerable: the exiles.
Exiles
Exiles are the wounded and vulnerable parts of us that have been abused, neglected, rejected, shamed, or dismissed. These exiles are often formed as children, because children are not equipped to make sense of traumatic or otherwise negative emotional experiences. They cannot process experiencing adult-like pain with a child-like mind. Children can come to believe lies about themselves, because those lies feel “safer” than believing the adults or circumstances around them are what is unsafe. Those lies about themselves can be so emotionally painful, that the parts that believe them are literally exiled to the past, blocked from conscious awareness. For example, a young boy who has been physically abused by his father, would find it more tolerable to believe that he was beaten because he is worthless, than to believe that his father wasn’t loving him. This would create an exiled part that carries the intolerable pain of feeling worthless. Protectors then engage to keep that exiled part out of conscious awareness at all costs, for fear that it would result in falling apart. These protectors may use many different strategies to keep this pain at bay.
Managers
Managers are proactive protectors whose jobs are to keep the pain of past experiences out of our conscious awareness so that we can function on a day-to-day basis. They are what keep the beach ball of negative emotion below the water, and they are often very sophisticated in these efforts. An example of a manager might be a part that keeps someone busy and seemingly successful, so they don’t have time to stop and feel worthless or depressed. They keep the internal system from being flooded with negative emotions from our past. The effort that managers put in to avoiding emotions depends on the degree of pain from past experiences. Managers never wanted to be put into the role of holding down exiles, but felt like they had to at some point in the past to protect the self from harm. They are not equipped to lead but feel they must. Some more examples of managers include perfectionist parts, judgmental parts, intellectualizing parts, impatient parts, inadequate parts, and skeptical parts.
Firefighters
Over time, managers naturally become worn out from trying desperately to keep the beach ball of past negative emotion under water. When their exhaustion causes them to slip up, strong negative emotions from exiled parts come bursting out of the water and into awareness. This is what activates firefighting parts. These parts are reactionary and come rushing in to put out the fire or emotional pain without much thought to consequences. They are the parts, for example, that use things like self-harm, drugs, sex, alcohol, anger outbursts, dissociation, and food to quench these powerful emotions. As you can see, managers and firefighters have very different strategies to keep the emotional pain of exiles away. These strategies often oppose each other and lead to what IFS calls polarization.
How the Parts Interact
Polarization
According to IFS, a polarization is “an adversarial relationship between two protectors who are in conflict over how to manage an exile” (Anderson, Sweezy & Schwartz, 2017). The activation of firefighters, who put out pain at all costs, often brings with it a barrage of criticism from managers. This polarization leads to a vicious cycle of firefighters activating managers, whose shaming tactics trigger exiles, that activate firefighters, and so on. This might look like a young girl who self-harms because of overwhelming feelings of guilt, which then activates a manager that makes the girl feel shame for her behavior, which activates the exile that already feels guilty, which activates the firefighter once again.
If these parts were on a ship, one part would be leaning over the side causing the boat to tip toward the water, so another part would lean over the opposite side to balance it out. The further one parts leans out, the further the other leans to compensate for it. This puts tremendous strain on the system. What is needed is for the self, or captain of the ship, to take charge and restore balance.
Managers can be polarized from each other as well. A depressed part might seize an opportunity to bring a workaholic part to a grinding halt, but just before feelings of depression set in, the workaholic part would send the individual back into a frenzy of productivity as each part then becomes more extreme in its efforts. A manic client once said, “It’s like depression catches me when I slow down” (Schwarz & Sweezy, 2020). One of the most effective questions in IFS brings out polarization: “How do you feel toward that part?” The answer is often “I can’t stand it” or “I hate it.” This is evident in the comments, “One part wants to work hard toward a goal, and another wants to sabotage its efforts,” and “One part wants something, but the other part is afraid of it” (Early, 2009).
Burdens
A main principle of IFS is that all our parts have good intentions. Each part is attempting to protect the self or the system from harm. Parts are subject to the same law of happiness referenced by the famous philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal:
“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves.”
In other words, our parts have good intentions but are misinformed about what will ultimately make the inner family happy and healthy. This is because our parts carry burdens, the extreme roles and beliefs that our protectors have taken on to protect exiles or to protect the self from the pain of the exiles. Burdens often come in the form of beliefs such as “I’m worthless” or “I’m alone.” Exiled parts also carry burdens. The goal of IFS is to unburden the exile, which then allows the protectors to take on the healthy and non-extreme roles they desire. For example, a young boy might have an exiled part that carries a burden from a time it was rejected for “making stupid mistakes” while working for his dad. This might have generated emotional pain that then employed his intellectual part to work in overtime. As this child grows into an adult, he may find that the burdened intellectual part protects him from feeling “stupid and worthless” by overthinking everything. By unburdening the child, this protector could then be free to use its intellect to study the world rather than ways to protect the self from emotional pain.
Blending
Blending is a term used in IFS to describe what happens when the self is taken over by another part. This happens because a part has learned to distrust the self for not offering the protection it thought was needed during a traumatic experience. If you’ve ever been angry at someone, then you’ve experienced what it’s like to be blended. It’s the difference between saying “a part of me is angry” and “I am angry.” Often after being blended, people will say “I didn’t feel like myself” and that is exactly what happened. They weren’t being controlled by the self, but by a burdened part.
IFS works to unblend parts with the simple question “How do you feel toward that part?” This question produces the distance needed from the negative emotion to see the part clearly and work with it effectively. If the answer is “I hate that part,” then you are blended with another concerned part. If the answer is “I’m curious or compassionate toward that part,” then you are not blended and enough self-energy is available to further explore the target part.
Trailheads
Trailheads is a term used in IFS to describe the emotional experience in the present that acts as a gateway to the inner world or parts. Trailheads are the often overwhelming negative emotions that come over us in the course of our day, and they are what most therapy sessions begin with. They are also called triggers, but trailhead is a much better term because it implies the purpose of the pain is to explore its source and heal it. This perspective allows us to embrace the emotional journey that we find ourselves on because any negative emotion is an opportunity for growth.
Now that I have defined the elements that make up IFS, my next post will discuss why I think it is a particularly beneficial form of therapy.
References
Anderson, F. G., Sweezy, M., & Schwartz, R. (2017). Internal family systems skills training manual: trauma-informed treatment for anxiety, depression, PTSD & substance abuse. PESI Publishing & Media.
Earley, J. (2009). Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Inner Wholeness Using Ifs, a New, Cutting-Edge Therapy. Hillcrest Publishing Group.
Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2019). Internal family systems therapy. Guilford Publications.
Very interesting article.
Thank you for summarizing complex material so clearly.